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| Photo by Ed Childs |
I've been reluctant to comment too much on the new found joys of full-time parenting as I still have my big L plates on, but I finally have to say something:
Corporate life had its challenges - impossible deadlines, lovable clients and enough politics to make one feel like the little moonblind owls in Guardians of the Legend. Thinking that I'd be leaving chronic stress far behind me, believe me when I say that it all pales into insignificance when compared to the daily challenge of trying to get three little boys ready & out of the house every morning.
You think you'd get use to it, but you don't, or at least better at it. I approach this task every day with a mixture of dread and determination. I’ve applied systems, processes, bribery, threats of violence, Oscar-worthy screeching Lady Macbeth monologues and have invoked every saint and occasionally Satan to smite the little darlings down – and nothing NOTHING makes the slightest bit of difference.
Everyday at least one child does not have a water bottle or a hat (we lose a cap a week) or matching shoes . We can never find the right suncream (the one William is not allergic too) but can always find the 10 year old bottle of SPF15 Piz Buin. Inevitably the children are dressed in a peculair mixtures of clashing stripes and checks, to which my general view is as long as it includes a hat, then sod it.
I cannot understand why it is so hard to co-ordinate 3 sets of packed lunches/3 bowls of oatmeal/3 sets of shoes/caps/the brushing of teeth & hair/feeding a cat, some chickens and a parrot, but it is a seemingly impossible task and quite hard on Madam Type-A-Taurus.
We're all left feeling shell-shocked and full of remorse by 8:30 every morning, vowing to do better the next day.
We're all left feeling shell-shocked and full of remorse by 8:30 every morning, vowing to do better the next day.
Until just as you're getting in the car - one child cannot find their hairbrush, one hasn't got a belt on so he's holding up his shorts (for the rest of the day?) and the cat is doing flic-flacs for it's Ocean Sensations and nobody has noticed. It's like finger on the rocket button, and I'm off into ballistic Lady Mac ranting mode again.
Without sounding too much like Charlie & Lola.... I Absolutely Cannot Wait For My Holidays, which kick off next weekend when we are off to San Juan (yes, I know, another island, but a beeeg one) for 5 days.
I'll be happy to feed the children from the mini-bar all week and they can stay in their pyjamas all day long if they want and watch American TV till their eyes fall out, but I'm determined to have a "Where's-your-hat-waterbottle-shoes-bag-suncream-rashie" Free Week.
I'll officially be sane again in about 3 weeks, and I'll have my first full year of Parenthood in the bag. In fact we should all be experts by then, just like the corporate world really.
Oh i hear you, i have 4, that includes 3 girls who have to have their hair brushed & i tell them all their brother is my favourite as i don't care if he has bed hair, he's easy!! I lay out their uniforms (thank GOD for uniforms in Australian schools) the night before, including socks & knickers - two things which can destroy a stream lined morning, & all they have to do is eat breakfast, i still put their lunch in their bags, yes at high school, it's that pathetic. Yet, atleast once a week we reverse back up the driveway as i go through the check list AGAIN of laptops, drink bottles & hats, we lose a hat a day, try to beat that, oh & a jacket a day, yes, they forget to put their jackets back on, as you do when it's -1C & snowing outside & you're in a Tshirt, that clearly is warm enough??!!
ReplyDeleteI made the mistake of watching Michelle Obama on Oprah & she said, since her daughters were 5 years old, they have had to set an alarm, get up, dressed, pack their bags & be fully responsible for themselves to be ready to walk out the door. WHAT?? Could that family get any better?? My youngest is 7.5 years old & i have to drag him out of bed every morning, he's never impressed unless he has woken himself up & is happy. Argh, can't win. Hang in there, teenagers, you can't get them out of bed with a crow bar, it's PAINFUL. Add to this my husband is military, yep, he is away for 3 years, so it's just me & my bugle. Argh, good luck, we're all behind you, we're all doing it tough between 7 & 8a.m. Love Posie
Sometimes I'm quite pleased that the husband isn't around, as I can become so unhinged. I truly do not think I would manage 4, so you are some hero. I'm also seriously considering boarding school so as to avoid the teenage years entirely.
ReplyDeleteummm... what's a rashie?
ReplyDeleteAustralian for rash vest. As in 'barbie' or 'eskie'.
ReplyDelete